Take it from someone who used to be the queen of on/off relationships: you need to cut your losses and move on. If a relationship is consistently on/off, then you are trying to force something to work that simply doesn’t/won’t. I once dated a guy on and off for four years, until I recognized that there was something better, happier, and healthier for me out there.
I was so comfortable with him and everything was so natural and easygoing, and I was terrified of having wasted so much time on him/our relationship and having to start over from scratch with someone else. I didn’t want to experience the awkwardness and uncertainty all over again; I didn’t want to deal with new “firsts.” But the way I see it is this: if you did it with your current boyfriend, you can just as easily do it with someone else (particularly if that “someone” is a better fit for you). In spite of my fears of the unknown and uncharted territory (i.e., a new relationship), I faced them — and once I did, I wondered what the hell I was worried about in the first place, and wished I had had the courage/conviction to do it much sooner.
Human beings have primal instincts, i.e., your “gut instinct.” If you feel something is wrong, off, and/or suspicious, that’s because it is. Regardless of whether you’ve picked up on those cues consciously or subconsciously, your instincts are trying to tell you something — and you need to listen and act accordingly. You know what you need to do; you’re just scared and apprehensive about doing it. You don’t need someone to tell you you need to break up with him, cut ties, and move forward with your life without him — you’re already fully aware that that’s the most beneficial course of action.
That time you’ve invested in making your relationship work? It has already been wasted. Coming to terms with this fact and accepting it will make it much easier to do the right thing for both yourself and your well-being. Your current relationship is as good as over, and it has been for a long time. Don’t waste any more time or energy dragging it out for longer than necessary.
Ive been with this guy off and on for almost two years and I have intense feelings and invested a lot of time in making us work. Lately, he's been spending a lot of time with his friend and texting constantly. I asked him about it and he said he just though of her as a friend, but she likes him. I asked his best friend if something was going on between them and he told me "maybe, but he didn't know for sure" I'm so crushed and don't know what to do sorry for bringing it up, but youre really wise
the system isnt broken the system is functioning exactly how it was designed